Overcoming Fear of the Dark: Helpful DOs and DON’Ts

Fear of the dark is estimated to affect anywhere from 50-75 percent of kids. It tends to develop around the age of two or three when a child’s  imagination really kicks in. Since bedtime is quiet, without many distractions, it’s easier for a young mind to wander and conjure up scary images. Some are real. Some are created. But to the toddler, both are very frightening.

It’s not only toddlers who suffer from fear of the dark. Many kids up to the age of 12 still struggle with it and in severe cases, the fear continues into adulthood.

Fear of the dark

Causes of Fear of the Dark

“Television is one of the worst offenders when we’re talking about a fear of the dark,”  says family therapist Jenn Berman. “Parents don’t recognize how much TV can affect their children.”

Books can also overstimulate a child’s active mind through illustrations of monsters, witches, or perhaps a battle scene. If no one is there to interpret what’s going on, his mind will think of its own explanation!

“And surprisingly, another culprit when it comes to nighttime fears is a well-intended parent who tells a child, “You better behave, or the boogeyman will get you,” says Mary Dobbins, an assistant professor of pediatrics and child psychiatry. Be careful not to create something that wasn’t there.

As parents, be attentive to what your youngster is hearing, seeing, and watching. Limit TV and electronic device time and be sure older siblings are just as attentive.

Fear of the Dark: Dos and Don’ts

Remember that no matter how silly your child’s fear seems to you, it is very real to her. Be understanding, ask questions that may help uncover the source, and listen.

This article at WebMD has a list of Dos and Don’ts when it comes to dealing with fear of the dark. Each one is elaborated on in the article. They include:

  • Do stay calm.
  • Don’t get frustrated.
  • Do support your child.
  • Don’t do sleepovers.
  • Do empower your child.
  • Don’t play into the fear of the dark.
  • Do make bedtime soothing.
  • Don’t ignore a larger problem.
  • Do get help.

Never Underestimate the Power of God!

God is fearless! His power is supreme over everything. Nothing can hide in the darkness from God. He sees through it like day.

“even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day”
– Psalm 139:12

Speak these truths to your child.  Show them the verse in Joshua 1:9:

 “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

Teach them to trust and depend on God who will always be with them; something we are not capable of. Share your own fears and how you, too, depend on Him to enable you to overcome them.

At EmethGym, our character training program uses original stories to help build kids up on the inside. Courage and bravery are one of the qualities we focus on. We write two stories: one for older students ages six or seven and up and one for the younger set.

In our senior story,  A Brave Victory, Arie struggles with an out of control fear of doing her dismount on the bars. It’s a skill she must have in gymnastics before moving into the next level. Her younger brother Keene, the main character in the junior story, is terribly afraid of the dark. Both Arie and her parents often go into his room at night to calm him. God Is Greater Than Keene’s Fear tells how Keene is able to overcome his fear of the dark.

Listen to the stories together with your child and talk about the main character’s struggles. Whatever you do, don’t ignore their fears!

*Article updated July 2023

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